I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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