I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize