So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
