He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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