her vagine was all disorganized.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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