I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
