Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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