i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
