doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
