We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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