You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
