you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
