I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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