Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
