Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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