I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I will die if light touches me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
