they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
