he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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