so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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