So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
