I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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