I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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