i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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