Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
