Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
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I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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