apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
