MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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