so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
