im about as happy as oj after his trial
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
