Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
