I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
