how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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