me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
