OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
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Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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