Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
