whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
