Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
