I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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