You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I will be naked everywhere
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
