then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
