I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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