I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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