so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
