Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
