She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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