just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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