I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
