Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize