he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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