Sry I called you an 8
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Watching her eat just hurts me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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