He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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