if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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