I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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