just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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