If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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