If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
should my penis look like a turkey
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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