Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
