I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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